Wanderers in the 4th Dimension
by TheBigCat
Summary: Calvin has a scarf. Susie has a nickname. The bus driver is annoyed with their flirting, and time's gone wibbly. Just a normal day, then.


"Hey, Calvin," Susie grinned as she skipped up to the bus stop, swinging her backpack over her shoulder. "Are you excited for school?"

Calvin spared her a single glance before turning back to his moody contemplation of the bus stop sign. "Of course I'm not, Romanadvorantrelundar. Don't be ridiculous." In addition to his usual black-and-red striped shirt and black shorts, he was wearing a long multicolored scarf that was wrapped around his neck a couple of times and trailing behind him on the ground.

"I'm sorry?" Susie asked, blinking a bit. "What did you just call me?"

"Yes, you're right," Calvin replied, a bit moodily. "I can't call you Romanadvoratrelundar. You'd be dead by the time I finished calling it out."

Susie had an extremely puzzled expression. "I'm not... Roma-whatever. My name's Susie, remember?"

Calvin, apparently, wasn't listening. "I'll have to give you a nickname," he mused.

"A _nickname_?"

"I'll call you... Romana."

Susie's face performed several very interesting expressional acrobatics. "Why would you call me Romana?" she managed.

Calvin tapped his fingers against the strap of his backpack. "Well, it's either 'Romana' or 'Fred'."

"...Fred." Susie had gone beyond disbelief at this point and was now simply staring, deadpan, at Calvin, who was looking blissfully calm._  
><em>

"Excellent. Come along, Romana!" he cried, starting towards the large yellow school bus that had just pulled up. Susie grabbed one end of his scarf, stopping him from advancing any further.

"I am going to hurt you if you don't stop calling me Romana," she said softly.

"Why? Do you prefer Fred?"

"What? No! Of course not!"

"Romana it is, then!" He tried to make for the bus again, forgetting that Susie had a tight hold on his absurdly long scarf. She yanked it hard, pulling him back to her.

"I will kill you, I swear."

"I'm too handsome to die," Calvin sniffed, brushing a hand over his spiky hair. The bus driver honked the horn loudly, but both children ignored him.

"You are _not_," Susie scoffed, relaxing her hold on the scarf slightly. Calvin took one step back, and grinned.

"You hesitated," he teased.

Susie looked up, outraged, and tugged on the scarf extra hard, making him choke slightly. "Shut. Up."

Calvin grinned widely. "Ohhh, Miss Derkins, you've got that look on your face again."

The bus driver honked the horn loudly. Susie tilted her head. "What face?"

"The 'he's hot when he's clever' face."

Susie jumped a mile into the air, nearly letting Calvin escape, which, of course, was his intention. "This is just my normal face!"

Calvin smiled, pleased. "Exactly."

"Oh, shut up," she sighed, admitting defeat, and dropping the scarf, letting him take his chance and run to the bus. Surprisingly, he didn't, and instead stayed exactly where he was.

"Not a chance," he smirked. The driver honked the horn once more, then gave up and drove off. Susie noticed, and yelped loudly.

"The bus is leaving without us!"

Calvin glanced up in surprise. "Oh, is it? What a shame."

Susie scowled. "Okay, I have a number of questions, but one is the most important. What in the name of sanity have you got around your neck?" she practically hissed. Calvin glanced down.

"It's a scarf. Scarves are cool!"

She grabbed his backpack, and dragged him along the sidewalk at a quick trot. "You're insane, you do know that?"

"No, I'm just a Whovian."

"What?"

"Nothing."

He released himself from Susie's grip of doom, and skipped at a steady pace next to her. There was a moment of silence that couldn't possibly last any longer then a few seconds. Calvin had a pensive look, as if he were trying to remember something especially funny that he wanted to say. He suddenly brightened up.

"Dragonfire!" he yelled happily.

"What?" Susie snapped, more than a little annoyed.

"Oh, nothing, Romana."

Susie tugged on his scarf extra hard. "I _told _you not to call me that!"

Calvin ignored her, and tapped on her little pink lunchbox that she was carrying. "I don't suppose you have a milkshake in there?"

"No, I don't. Shut up."

He looked downcast. "Pity. That would have been an excellent bit of dialogue."

Susie snorted. "I've never met anyone as insane as you, Calvin."

He snapped his fingers happily, and pumped his fist in the air. "Yeah," he declared triumphantly. "And I bet you've never had a milkshake poured on your head, either!"

She glanced at him again. "What?"

"Oh, nothing."

By this point, they were just near the school. And then, the inevitable happened. Moe and his little gang of bullies stepped out from behind a tree, glaring threateningly at the two 6 year olds.

"Oh, hello, Moe!" Calvin waved, completely ignoring the fact that imminent doom was approaching.

"What are _you _doing here, Twinkie?" Moe growled.

Calvin tapped his chin with a finger. "Hm. That's a very difficult question." He turned to Susie. "Why is everyone around here so preoccupied with metaphysics?"

"He's about to clobber you, Calvin," Susie hissed.

Calvin paused.

"Ah," he said eventually. "An existentialist."

Moe approached, fists curled up. "Hand over the money, Twinkie."

Calvin sighed dramatically, and leaned against a handy tree. "Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the Fourth Dimension, Moe? Have you? To be an exile?"

Moe stopped, and wrinkled his brow. "What?"

Without further ado, Calvin grabbed Susie's hand. "Run!" he yelled, and they did. All the way to class.

They were half an hour late. And when Mrs Wormwood asked Calvin why they were there at such an odd time, he simply responded with the following.

"Time isn't linear, Mrs Wormwood. In fact..." Here he paused for a moment. "From a non-linear, non-subjective point of view, Time is more of a big ball of... wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."

He was, decided Susie, completely insane.

* * *

><p><strong>(This stemmed from the idea that Calvin would be a REALLY BIG WHOVIAN and always be trying to slip references into the conversation, the way I do. It originally started with just the 'Susie is Romana' dialogue, and I was going to leave it at that. And then I thought, "Nah, too short," and continued on until I had over 1000 words, which is what I aim for.<strong>

**This has absolutely nothing to do with my Calvin Who 'verse.**

**Quotes from the 4th Doctor, River Song, 11th Doctor, 7th Doctor, 1st Doctor, 9th Doctor (sorta) and 10th Doctor, respectively. If anyone can figure out the exact episodes that they all came from, they get a Prize.**

**Toodles!**

**~Kitty)**


End file.
